NLD/NVLD and what it means to me

I’ve had issues for a long, long time.

There’s one as a kid I’m not going into, but..

I’ve never had much of an imagination at all, and I’ve learned to compensate by using wild logic leaps. When I had legos as a kid, I’d always either build a sword (because holy crap, swords are rad to a nerd kid) or a giant block. I’d make… bigger legos out of my legos. I’m not sure if that was a bad thing or not, really.

I dodged the bullet on the NLD problem of not getting sarcasm pretty well. I lived in a turbulent house with a jester of a dad and an unstable mom, and the two didn’t get along and I’d usually be caught in the middle of it. I had to learn to deal with all the wordplay and anger and learn when it was my fault/my sister’s fault versus when something was just wrong in general. I’ve been blessed.. er. Sort of blessed with a bunch of wordplay and punnery, which I’ve been swung at by my friends over. :v

I’ve got the cocktail party speech thing in spades. Like, I used to be on IRC a lot and I’d ramble and it got to the point in one channel where someone would paste “N O O N E C A R E S A R C A N E” every time I’d start on a subject. I’m not good at discerning what an audience or friend wants to talk about, so I tend to just shotgun things at people. Most of the time, that’s not really a bad thing, but it can be a terrible one with people I barely know, or if the topic gets on something they don’t like. One of the reasons I’ve started this is for an outlet on the subject.

I’ve got this weird feeling in the right side of my head all the time, and I tend towards the right a bit. I tilt my head kind of at an odd angle, drink at a slant if I’m doing it without thinking about it, and I just feel like the right side of my body’s off in a way. The left side’s just less real feeling to me, if that makes any sense.

I can’t really draw, because I have huge amounts of trouble dealing with spatial awareness and sizes.

I have a lot of trouble focusing on multiple things. Harvest Moon on SNES was a game I used to play, and I’d seriously just cheat my money up and sleep repeatedly until the events I wanted to see happened; I almost never did the actual farming. That was one early sign I noticed that something was kind of off, but I was just assuming it was related to me being seen as generally a lazy person.

I’m very easily overwhelmed, and tend to retreat or deflect anything that makes me nervous like that. I’m really good at talking my way out of things, including to myself.

As an upside, I think NLD/NVLD is the reason that I’m so good at certain games. In fighting games, I tend to focus on the sound of the game running instead of the actual timing, and that makes me good at awareness and comboing in games. The downside is that I can’t focus on learning the combos, so I tend to just do a weird mix of mindgaming and small basic combos to handle them. :v I’d never win in tournaments, but I’m good at everything I’ve played.

In rhythm games, it’s not always an advantage. If I can’t discern the pattern of when they’re matching the game to the music. I cannot do a thing, like Canned Heat in Elite Beat Agents. In Rock Band, my hands are so clumsy and off that it feels like I’m fighting an uphill battle, and it takes me effort to get used to playing the game. When I do, I can usually play on Expert with friends, at least.

I read something about how NLD means you have trouble using the motor center, and I’m theorizing at this point that I might just be relying on a weird version of muscle memory to handle movements. It explains how I have great balance when drunk, how I can duplicate my movements relatively easy on a controller, and how I’m pretty clumsy, but it’s just a theory.

I have extremely good memory where it comes to music, but that’s not very useful. It’s more the instrumentals than the lyrics.

NVLD isn’t an awful thing for me to have, but it’s something I’m going to have to get used to. I want to find out what all advantages it gives me and write about them, and give other people with this help.

Posted on February 6, 2012, in nld. Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. You and I aren’t too different.

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